Barfy Zen Porkchop

The success of my runs is directly linked to food, and runs on a scale from Barfy to Zen to Porkchop.

Two days I broke my 'no dairy' rule (I didn't plan on running and had a Barfy run. Tonight I had a Zen run. Let me explain.

Barfy: I don't actually have to barf. A Barfy run is a bad run that often ends early because of stomach troubles. I need to leave a lot of time (ideally about 2 hours) between eating and running. Absolutely no dairy, nothing heavy, etc. I learned my no dairy rule the hard way, having several nasty runs before being tipped off that it's well-known not to not eat dairy before you run. I mentally coined the term jogging up the stairs (the little ones by my house) at the end of a run. The whole run felt terrible. Right at the end, five minutes from home, I puked, just a little. A mouthful would be most accurate. Without meaning to, I swallowed in again almost instantly.

Zen: This one's easy to define, if hard to achieve. I don't have very many of them, which is why I don't care for running. On Zen runs I get the little endorphin kick that attracts people to running. I feel great and feel like I could run for ages. My legs and my lungs eventually stop me, not my stomach.

Porkchop: This one's pretty easy too - I bonk. With Barfy in the back of my head, sometimes I will wait too long after eating and bonk on the run. The term comes from one terrible long run where I majorly bonked a long way from home. It took me almost an hour to walk back. If there had been any convenience stores or even restaurant, I would have stopped in. Instead, I walked wobbly-legged up my four flights of stairs, immediately flung open my fridge, and ate a porkchop with my hands. No plate, no cutlery, shoes still on. Don't worry, it was cooked.