Goalti and the Plaid Kitty

It was 20 degree tonight, so I went to play goalti tonight. It's so fun - tonnes of running and lots of edgy throws. I can't wait to play again.

Tonight I collected Tartan again for the weekend Hurray!

Full Moon Ride

Tonight a group of us rode around the Glenmore Reservoir to celebrate the full moon. There was about 1o of us, including my friend Treena who I hadn't seem since 2006 Nationals in Halifax.

Some highlights:
The view of the water, especially from the bridge.
The deer.
Catching up with Treena.
The guy in the orange hoody riding a sweet cruiser bike. The bike was low to the ground, and he had the hood up. We were going down this hill, and in the moonlight it looked like Elliot from ET. I thought he was going to fly at any time.
The sense of suspended animation. It didn't even feel like I was pedalling.

I'm hoping to be able to feel my toes again by the next full moon. If you didn't get to come, I'm sure we'll be doing it again. You know, they schedule these full moon things every so often.

Poopless Meals

Most of the time, pooping is fabulous. Come on, admit it. If you don't believe me, don't eat enough for about a month.

That said, (too much, you say?) sometimes, it's incredibly inconvenient. The privacy of your own home is one thing, but public space adds a new dimension. I'm sure everyone has a funny poop story from a trip, tournament or the office. So here's the idea - say your about to go work for 12 hrs straight, in the middle of nowhere, outside, in the dead of winter. What do to? Poopless meals.

I'm going to hire a scientist to determine what people can eat that will provide maximum calories and satiate hunger, while minimizing the amount you poop. I'll package them as frozen dinners with some cute brand name like Minipoo or Tinyturd or NoNo.2. They will be colour coded - just eat the red box for breakfast and the blue box for lunch, and voila!

Not healthy, you say? It would be less healthy that eating normal food, I grant you that. But you should see what these rigpigs eat! They will eat anything, I swear. I would be like HungryMan, Hot 'n' Ready and Triple Bacon Burgers - who eats those? Ew. Yet they sell. If they don't approve it in Canada, it would fly in the States for sure.

Look for them at a supermarket near you. Don't hez-itate. Buy today!

Coming soon: the multihelmet

Suggestions Welcome

I had one of those days where I thought a lot about what I should do with my life. Don't get me wrong, I also did my job. But you know what they say, a great thing to do while thinking about that kind of thing is to write a liability report.....or was it running? More to follow.

Oh, interesting, the President of Iran just said on the news that their are no homosexuals in Iran. That means I can cross off "move to Iran" from off the top of my list.

Germany

Did I tell you that I'm going to Germany in October? I leave Oct. 14 and I'm not back until Nov. 4. Also, I'm getting 3 large dogs to live in my apartment over that same period of time, just in case you know where I live.

I'm stoked about the trip. I've been stressed out in at times too. Oct. 14 really seems to be creeping up, and I'm trying to trip plans and still do my job and the dishes. I'm sure it will all come together before long.

I'm visiting my friends Toby and Bridget, who live in Karlsruhe (they have a large dog too) and Jayanti, who lives in Munich (no dog, feel free to let yourself in - good luck finding it). If you want to check out any of these folks travels, check out their blogs. You can find the links off this page.

Check my blog in Oct. for posts on my trip. You know, the kind of things that most people put on blogs. Not mergansers, bunker hotel rooms and weird people I see on my bike. Does Germany have mergansers? I'm going to find out.

Peace River II

It was harder than I thought to get a decent picture in Peace River. On Thursday, I forgot my memory card in my laptop, after taking the charming picture outside my hotel. Duh. Friday was pretty overcast, no I only took a few shots on the drive home. This one is the only one that's even half decent - it was taken out of a car window. At least I wasn't driving this time.

On experience from Peace River that I found interesting was visiting the site of the proposed nuclear plant. We viewed the area from from across the lake, from Lac Cardinal Provincial Park. The area was devoid of life except of us, and the weather seemed to suddenly get cold and blustery. There was a bunch of old playground equipment in the park, the sort that screams 1970's - i.e. the "dangerous" stuff was still there. The overall ambiance was really creepy. Between the wind (coming from the proposed plant site) and the neglected playground equipment, it was hard to get the word Chernobyl out of the my head.

Aside: I visited the Swan Hills waste treatment plant (did you know that Alberta disposes of other countries hazardous waste, for cash? I'm not positive they still do, but they used to for sure, and probably now) in EnSci and got thyroid cancer less than a year later. Coincidence......yes, but creepy, hey?

In totally unrelated news, Canada was eliminated from the FIFA Women's World Cup after a tie with Australia. Boo urns.

Peace River

I'm in Peace River for work right now. It's quite nice here, but you'd never know it from the view from my hotel room. Check it out. Hot.


I'll try to get some pics tomorrow of the river valley. It's a conference, not workwork, so I should be good. We tour around on a bus in the afternoon.

Today's Peace River highlight, overheard in a restaurant:

Son: "Mommy, why do we have to leave?"
Mother: "Because I'm liquored up, so I need to go home to bed!"

Riding and the Fall

Tonight on my bike I saw a crazy lady. In this case, you could have seen her from a car too, although you would have been hitting the breaks. She was crossing a bridge over the Bow on 16th ave. I don't know the name of the bridge, but if your traveling west on 16th ave, your next exit would be 34th ave/Sarcee (Totem, the store, not the pole, on your right). You know, that bridge. The lady was walking east in the far south lane, hugging the concrete barrier. There a shoulder or anything, so we're talking inches from the barrier and more importantly, inches from the highway traffic. Here's the really crazy part - she was pushing her baby in a carriage.

So how many of you thought I fell off my bike? For once - no. Although I did manage to burn my calf pretty good on the weekend on my rotor. Is that normal? Anyone? Are they supposed to get that hot? "The Fall" I refer to is the season. Crescent Heights is looking beautiful these days.Here are some pics I took on my bike ride in my neighbourhood.

The AssMaster 3000

The AssMaster 3000* is another genius invention - genius, I tell you. A group of us went to Moab, Utah to ride mountain bikes in last March. We rode our bikes seven days in a row. My legs held out. My ass felt like....ass.

Thus was spawned the AssMaster 3000, invented by the members of Team Forester 7 (myself, Dave Brewin, Jeff and Lindsay Sill). The AM3000 is a bike seat attachment for your office chair. About a week before you leave for your trip, you install product and start "training". It gets you used to a bike seat in small doses. You sit on it for a while, and pre-numbbum, it retracts into your office chair for some relief. About once an hour, when you least expect it, it give you a good SLAM....to your sitbits. If you need a break, you can turn it off or get up for a bit. It's much harder on a bike. Buy one before you go: you'll thank me later! This could be you in the photo: master of your ass.


*Product is not recommended for Mauri Smith**.
**An ass is required to use the AssMaster3000.


Coming soon: Poopless Meals

Fernie and McMath

I was riding in Fernie this weekend with my friend Leanne. Fernie is a great place, all the trails we were on were really fun, and the weather was perfect.

Saturday we rode up by the cemetery. We drove up Saturday morning, so we were looking for something a little shorter. The highlight was riding/bouncing down this staircase. I don't know why I've never run into this before, but I hadn't. The stairs were perfectly spaced so that your front and back tired roll off the steps at the exact same time. I could hear a cartoon boinging (no, not boinking) noise in my head. So fun!

Sunday we rode near the base of the hill, out of the Provincial campground. I remember named trails being Sherwoody Forest and Snakebite. Lindsay, would you ride a trail named Snakebite? The whole area was old growth forest and just stunning to ride in. Go check it out if you get the chance.

I hate to admit it, but Sunday morning we had breaky at McDonald's. I ordered a Egg McMuffin combo (mmmmmmm) , which these days runs a person $3.79. Did you know that you can hold the meat and get a tomato slice instead? It's 15 cents extra, but well worth it. The blank-faced kidlet Mcworker rings it up and tells me it's $7.03. I inform her the menu says $3.79, so there must be a error. Her genius answer: "But it's 15 cents extra for the tomato. " Now that's flawless McMath.

Inventions

Someone out there is going to make a fortune by reading my blog. Well, okay, by reading my blog and stealing some of my genius idea's for inventions. The only thing that's stopping me is the time and start-up capital. I'm more of an ideas girl. So when you rip off my idea and make your fortune, please be kind and send me a small percentage of the profits. Or at least a new iPod.

Here is my first idea....see the picture. It's like OFF! in every way, but it's for folks who really don't like mosquitoes. Who does like them?

Coming soon: the AssMaster3000.

ONE STEAMBOAT!........ TWO STEAMBOATS!

Tonight was Nellie's first hockey game of the season. Actually, ladies F league is so prestigious, that most of the game was playing this morning. I enjoyed myself and had a good workout, but part of me can't help but think, "fuck, Adams, you really suck." I'm so new/bad/pylon that I can't even describe it in hockey terms (No dangles?). I'll relate my lack of skills to what I know best...ultimate.

My defense: I'm that player that doesn't realize who their check is until the disc is at least half field. Then I "mark" - wave my hands in the air frantically (like the "signal") and count steamboats.

My offense: I'm that player that runs a lot, but never anywhere where anyone might care. A decent defender can cover my every movement with just a few steps. And then I get tired. And, heaven forbid I get the puck, I'm a total ATM (Automatic Turnover Machine). I think I had 27 turnovers tonight.

I'll just drink a beer, where a cape, and put more effort into the cheer than the game. I suck, but I'm having a great time doing it.

Do You Know Who is Posting Pictures of Your Cat on the Internet?

I'm taking care of a Sweet cat right now, and he's absolutely awesome. He's going home sure, and I'm going to miss him. Once he goes back to his people, I guess I am just going to have to drink the tuna water myself. Sigh. This is him.

ps. This seems like some of the safety alerts that I get over email at work, and actually read. "Do You Know Who is Posting Pictures of Your Cat on the Internet?". Don't waste your time opening the PowerPoint - it's me.

More Riding Fun

It was another beautiful fall evening, so I was on my bike again.
The highlight: riding past a (wo?)man in the park. He was weird, and weird people are interesting. He was about 50 years old, traveling on the bike path in an electric wheelchair in the opposite direction I was. He was wearing a large, old lady-style, pink dress (the closest piece of clothing I can compare it too is the orange dress that I was forced to wear to the party at Nationals in 2001). He had close-cropped, short grey hair, in a….man cut, and lipstick. Maybe he is like UofC's sign guy ("Oh, that guy!") or maybe he hasn't left his basement in 20 years.

The lowlight: riding through so many aphids that I was afraid one might suck up my eyetube into my brain. Next time - sunglasses.

In other news: I’m now the proud owner of Penis and Vagina Pasta from Italy from Mere. She looked extra for the vaginas. Thanks Mere!

Bike riding

There are certain things that go along with riding a bike. Most of them are good, but there are a couple of things are uniquely shitty. In the last couple of days, I’ve run into one of each.
I’ll start with my latest pet peeve. Most drivers are pretty decent at passing in the left lane – they have too. Everyone in Calgary driving a monster SUV or an F150. But what’s with the drivers that insist on squeezing by me in my lane, then jamming on the brakes and turning right, making me slam on the brakes. Thanks for signaling while you pass me, jerkwads, but has anyone given any thought to waiting until I pass their exit (probably 12 seconds) and then turning? I suppose they have probably gone 4 kms, which means they are pulling in for gas on fumes.
On the other hand, riding my bike by the river today, I saw a flock of mergansers fishing (it’s possible there were synchronized swimming, but I’d put my money on fishing in a shallow section of the Bow. That’s the river, not the Encana building. It was graceful, beautiful and coordinated – three descriptions it gives me nightmares to think of trying pull off all at once. Go mergansers. If I had been in a car (oh, sorry, wait, an SUV or F150), I would have had no idea they were there.