One year

I can hardly believe it that it's been one year.  Okay, really it will be one year since my surgery tomorrow, but I did spend this night last year in the Civic Emergency, so I think it counts.

Yes, I'm still having issues.  Yet I am incredibly lucky to have had this last year. 

I struggle with trying to make sure I am appreciating enough, doing the most that I can....living it right, with as much happiness, appreciation and love as I can possibly muster.

It doesn't feel like it's been a year.  It feels like it's been five years and only a few months all at once.  Perhaps I'm not that good at keeping time these days.

I've been mulling over what I wanted to write in this post for the last couple of days.  I can barely remember what perspective I decided wanted to include.  I remember I had some ideas.  I'm not going to lie, it went out the window a bit today.  I had an appointment with my family doctor, regarding disability paperwork (yes, still pending.  still).  Since I was there for something else (and it was my family doctor, not my neurologist), I didn't expect to get my MRI results.  Just a wee amount of visible brain damage.  (My words, obviously).  "Small cortical infarct".  (infarct = dead tissue).  You've got to be infarcing kidding me.

Now I know this is just a GP.  I clearly need to speak with my neurologist.  There's never any point in worrying about stuff like this until you really need too.  Results always take forever, and it's just not worth stressing over.  Still, it was hard to hear, and it managed to bulldoze my thoughts on what to put in this post.  Maybe I will remember tomorrow - after all, nothing has changed, really.     

Thinking back, I know I'm a really lucky girl.